Diary of a not-so-baby BarriSTAR

An alternative perspective



6 week countdown… ⏳


The T* Word

When we started this process of Pupillage, there was talk of the big T word. Tenancy. And the series of assessments that preceded it. It felt like something so far down the line, that it kinda just floated in the background. The intensity of just trying to get through each day has meant the months have slipped by.

13/14 months in, the time has come.

Every day of this process has been an assessment. Everyone, everywhere is watching you. Thinking something. Making a judgment. Forming an opinion. Whatever it may be, there is a constant spot light. The instinct is to survive, not F up and on a good day- try and do well.

The uncertainty is difficult. Not knowing. Never knowing. But you continue. Plough on. In the hope, that it has all been enough. That you are enough.

Having faith and believing in the fact there is a wider plan is a defining feature in this journey. And every journey we make in this life.

Strive for excellence in all that you do and all that you are.

Leave the pieces to fall into place. The way they were always supposed to. The way they were designed to.

We were made to struggle. With the best of us being able to stay afloat and one day thrive.

To do justice to those who have supported my journey, facilitated my growth, shown goodness to me in ways I cannot count, who believe in me in ways I am unable to believe in myself – this is for you.

Winds of change are blowing wild & free

Had a last get together with our current third six pupils tonight in advance of tenancy decisions tomorrow. Us starting on our feet on Monday. So many mixed feelings. Excitement. Sadness. Nostalgia. Wondering where you will be next year, with your feet in the same shoes. Build relationships with people. Some will stay. Some will go. Perhaps some will stay even if they do go.

Makes you think about time. How little we have of it. How fast it goes.

Blink. And it’s gone.

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